Signs

Name one writer who doesn’t hate writers block, and I’ll stop posting about my life. 

Usually I just grab my Dre Beats when my thoughts start to get so crazy that I can’t recap my life, but two months later, here’s my struggle, I mean update.

I’m living my life although I’m a very isolated person. It’ll catch up to me in the end but I don’t focus on having friends, I focus on myself now more than ever. (Not to sound like a broken record because I’ve talked about this before) I love staying to myself, not explaining myself to anyone and living a detached life – distant from social media – more in tune with my wants, needs and goals.

I recommend more people do that. 

Find yourself. Focus on yourself. Be comfortable with yourself. Better yourself.

I don’t know why but I’ve noticed social networks bring out the lies and causes headaches that no amount of prescription drug can suppress. I simply can’t fall into that again because the consequences is what I’ll get in return for lying to myself.

On a more important note, I’ve been training with my unit for our upcoming deployment that I’ve mentioned before for half of June & July, and every year, (today to be exact) reality sinks in more than usual since this time around I’m now 25. 

Damn.. 25, the perfect time to take it easy, pause time, rewind my life and play over every choice and experience I’ve gone through to make sure I’m going in the right direction.
I suppose following a routine makes it easy to forget to enjoy life and the time I have. Tunnel vision, so wrapped up in a routine that I forget to break away from that cycle. 

I want to change location, maybe then I can change my ways.. side bar // Ever notice how irritating or serious a conversation can become when someone who’s never called you by your real name does just that? 

I’m all over the place, music got me feeling some type of way about life so Ill end with exposing my train of thought a bit more;
I’ve spent my life subconsciously wondering what’s possibly missing in my life, a void of some sort, from thinking I’m not good enough, and doubting myself becomes so easy when people are quick to ignore you, point fingers to you, and then turn around and admire you ? That can mess with anyone mentally. 

Things are going to change, no longer forcing anything and letting things fall in place, just hope it doesn’t result in me falling flat on my face picking up the pieces again

True to Self

I want to

I WILL

write a book

This has been a long time goal of mine, and a serious one that doesn’t come as easy since it’s a test of commitment and patience, aka; the two things in my life that I can rarely get to fall in line these days in the first place.

One thing I can ABSOLUTELY promise is that this world is full of distractions because every time I think I know where I want start/end and figure out how to make the stuff in-between make sense.. I end up at a Starbucks, swiping through Instagram double tapping things that don’t matter.

I hate society, makes it hard not to get side tracked

I low key been trying to talk to / find god to pray for myself, but sometimes I feel like im 24 years too late with all the things I’ve done and been through I feel like if there is a god he/she/it would be like,

“what happened? What happened to you?”

I wonder if anyone else has that thought

Self-righteous but I’m dead wrong on a lot that’s for certain, but I’ll always remain true to myself.

More life

Update time:

1st; I’m sure my titles are a dead giveaway that I’m a music head.

“Life is a feeling process, even on this quest to evolve as a person”

You have to experience multiple things to understand where you are and currently headed and I say this because I really feel like this deployment coming up will test me in ways I never imagined myself going through, although I’m being pretty hopeful that the impact on my life will be all positive ones, I’m well aware that the life we live is never accommodating to requests.

So I’m in this mindset of trying to speak to everyone I’m deploying with which is becoming a major issue for me because I’m really on this solo dolo lifestyle something tough, so with that said, trying to balance a social life on top of that is harder than i thought it would be with me being such a private person. I’m pretty much pushing myself out of my comfort zone, even though i never had an issue with leaving it in the first place.

Can a comfort zone be called or caused by complacency?

I always feel like I’m capable of so much more in life and at the same time I’ve noticed I tend to limit myself, knowing I’m good at many things in life just because I don’t know where to start. I need to accept and start doing these things I love, that’s life to me, doing what you love at all times, staying true to your desires, wants and needs.

Anyways I’m in the process of getting it together because happiness is the mission that’s not impossible and since I’m not that person who is stressing trying to get to the good life, I’m simply stressing trying to make my life good.

Also, I plan to post every week if possible once I get overseas for the year
&
THE WARRIORS IN THE FINALS !!

4 your eyez only

How’s it going world?

Everything is a process, I know this, I know this. Just stick to my plans, stay focused on my goals and somewhere along the line as I daydream through the days and forget the long nights I’ll end up there just like when I’m on a long drive and I space out; on auto pilot, I eventually end up at my destination.

I don’t plan to fade into obscurity; I don’t believe anyone wants to do that, but I’ve never felt so alive knowing this path that I’m on can make or break me. I’m 100% content with that, my life my choices.

 I constantly remind myself to quit being an individual though and to expand my ways of thinking. But hey, if I disappear off the “social media” map or become the definition of obscurity I’m fine with that, Just know I’m living my life.

Actually pressed for time so I’ll wrap this up.

I still feel like there’s not enough time in the day, or that I’m running out of time, wasting time, need time away or maybe it’s time to get it together? Either way time doesn’t seem to be a friend of mine lately so I try to go with the flow of life, but the currents are too strong when negativity is present.

Everyday I think about time and where I fit in time, what I’ve done with my time, and when I’ll be out of it seems to be the main thought of mine. Since I’m still embracing all there is to know about fatherhood and let’s face it, no one really wants to be out of time, but time isn’t always considering people’s best interests last I checked. You’re either taking advantage of time or time takes you. I do know every time my angel smiles at me though, time stops.

I never understood what love was until I became a father.

Look, there’s no doubt in my mind that on this quest I’m on to evolve as a person that there will be multiple “hiccups” that’s life, but what needs to be worked on is all the times I let people and things get to me way more than they should have.

Time can do wonders and still break you down when you realize you’re either where you want to be or far from it.

Until next time.

(Wrote this to that song if you’re wondering about the title)

Dear Society…

Hello, 

Im going to use this platform as a place for me “vent” and hopefully you can relate to it one way or another. I plan to touch on different aspects of my life . Well, life in general. life never goes as planned and mine is definitely not any different . I have no general direction with this but what I post may or may not be relevant to you. After all, this is my journey and I am welcoming you to it .With that said, don’t expect anything from me. I’ll post randomly but they will be topics I care deeply about .

I want you to leave having learned something but more so , with the feeling that someone else is out here thinking what you’re thinking.

Welcome.